Fuck your life, hop on my '98 dirt bike. I am going to ask my grandfather what exactly he means by saying "youth is wasted on the young."

I rode my bike tonight. I kicked over a shopping cart. I really enjoyed that.

M.O.B.B.-
You's a dickblowa
tryin to speak the dunn language
what the drilly wit dat do?
it ain't bangin
you hook on Mobb phonics
infamous bonics

my chain hang down to my dick
my piece bang glass tables
diamonds and guns before the fame

i used to bust shots crazy
i couldn't even look because the loud sounds used to scare me
(pow pow)

This post stated: Everyone wastes their life. I ride bikes and kick down shopping carts. I like Mobb Deep.  ¶ 12:47 PM 2 comments

  The Dreamers is on HBO. I have been doing well. Riding my bike. Playing with a racquetball at work. Just trying to enjoy life.
I need to start playing some music. I just spent 2 hrs. in Wal-Mart. I bought an Army field hat, 1.25 lbs. of gummy bears, tennis balls, and Foxfire on DVD for $5.50. Fun. I punched the computer desk at work tonight because I was upset at Bounce Back and now my knuckles hurt. I want to play indoor soccer.

My great grandmother gave me a rock. She said, "Look at this one. It looks there is bird poo(p) on it." What do you know, it really does look like there is bird poop on it. She is hilarious.

I want a motorcycle. or a scooter. or a moped. or a mini bike.

I like Natalie Portman bald.

Do you answer the phone every time it rings?

"We think that that is which appears to be." -Thoreau

"If we are really dying, let us hear the rattle in our throats and feel cold in the extreamities; if we are alive, let us go about our business." -Thoreau

-you're gonna die.  ¶ 3:13 AM 0 comments

  woo. Talked to the therapist today. She says I am ok. Thumbs up to that.  ¶ 2:17 PM 0 comments

  Fuck me. Fuck you. Fuck you for telling me I'm too nice.
Fuck you for saying I'd make a perfect husband.
Fuck you for "it's not you, it's me."
Fuck you for being scared of my securities.
Fuck you for loving my insecurities.
Fuck you for pretending to give a shit.
Fuck you for saying I'm worth the time, then not spending it with me.
Fuck you for for believing all the truths I tell.

Fuck me for being all of the above.
Fuck me for being everything I should be and nothing I shouldn't.
Fuck me for caring what anyone thinks.

I guess I believe all the lies I have been told.

At least, I still have my sanity.  ¶ 11:45 PM 1 comments

  More or less, it's time for a test. I am a pansy. I cry a lot, most of the time and I don't even know why. Most of the time, I just want people to be happy and leave me alone. I really like people, but I don't always want to be around them. I have people I would love to be around all of the time, but it is very unrealistic of me to think I am that important. I want to love absolutely everyone I meet. I want to enjoy their little quirks and interests, but I feel I am unable to pretend I like someone. I don't feel like I can help it. If someone is boring me, or me boring them, we just should not be around each other. "I hope you have a happy life." I feel like I should be able to appreciate everyone. "Love thy enemy." (Did I just quote the bible?) I don't want to be the quiet nice kid/boy/man. I also don't care to be the boisterous asshole either. I just want to be more vocal and have fun and (pretend) to enjoy the same old bullshit everyone else does. There is nothing wrong with me. I know there is nothing wrong with other people (ie. doing what they do and such), but I have trouble feeling close to people. I don't have a father. (boo hoo, right? who the hell has a father these days anyhoo.) I don't have the guts to talk to anyone I might like because I feel I will disappoint them. I am the stereo-type loner-wuss-type-of-guy you see in the movies. I know I can do anything I want to. I know that all of these thoughts are self imposed and mean nothing. I know I can create the world I live in. I know shit is holding me back. I can control it though.

(I can't wait to tell the therapist I do this, instead of taking pills.)

Fuck this world. I am going to live in my own.

H.O.L.L.I.E.D. Diaries - www.screechbone.blogspot.com
copy, paste, learn.
She has the right idea.

Post Secret - www.postsecret.blogspot.com  ¶ 2:49 AM 2 comments

  You scared. I feel like a little child when I hear other people talking to each other. Like they are talking about important stuff and I am being left out of the conversation because I wouldn't understand what is being said. It is a weird feeling. I feel like people talk to me, but are holding something back as to not offend or confuse me. This seems funny considering I have been telling people A LOT more about myself in the past couple of months. I have also become more crass towards people. I usually feel bad, but not the last couple of times I have done it. Does this mean I am becoming a mean person or does it just mean I am becoming an adult?  ¶ 3:23 PM 0 comments

  Straddling this fence is cumbersome. This is all there is. This is all there is?
There is an unknown world you can tap into, it won't be easy, it will take time, but it is out there. There is an unknown world?
I am sitting on the fence deciding which of these to believe. It is nice to think this is all there is for us. It seems comforting to me. I like the idea that all there is for me is: blogs, hip-hop, music, skate videos, esceula, magazines, family, and friends, etc. I think it would be nice to just accept this and live out the last years of my life. It would be amazing to accept this and benefit from the knowledge that I am here for now, I am making the most of it, and the pitfalls will past, along with my (good?) name.
I can't shake the feeling that there is something more. Not gods, spirits, etc. But a higher level of knowledge and understanding of this world. I can't fight the feeling I have that some people are on another level of understanding. Another plane of conscience. They understand "why the cage bird sings" better than I do.
I am going to tell myself that these two opinions are undeniably intertwined. These questions will end up answering each other when I reach a ripe old age. I can try to accept this, but wanting and yearning to understand is not going to get any easier. I think searching for the answer(s) is going to drive me crazy. The harder I look, the farther away I will become from gaining this knowledge.

Until then:
thanks exo, your the truth.

I got nuthin but love for ya, baby. I got nuthin but love.

Props to: TRUEBOY, et, youyesyou, and crailtap (skateboarding is cool, but vert skaters are insane asylum.)
Someday I will learn how to put a blog roll thing on the side of my shit, so I don't have to keep linking the same people errytime I post.

Dip Set Thoughts:
Juelz is that "human crack" or whatevs and the video for "Mic Check" is nice, but I am anticipating Hell Rell's album. How ignorant is that?

Big words in this post. I used spell check a lot.  ¶ 1:43 AM 1 comments

  These appearances are false. You may have gotten taller.
You may have gotten fatter.
Your skin might sag.
Your back may ache.
Hair might cover your body.
None of these things are you.
These are limitations you have set for yourself.
Your mind is powerful.

I have not gotten past these obstacles.
You might not understand.
That's okay.
Neither do I.  ¶ 12:59 AM 0 comments