It is time to focus on the good things. Reading. Writing. Listening. Sleeping. Bikes. Rap Music. Music in general. Family. Friends. Blogs. DVDs. Girls with glasses. Girls without glasses. Books. Things can get better. Change your frame of mind to change the picture. H.O.O.L.I.E.D Diaries sums it up.  ¶ 1:54 AM 0 comments

  i will never understand anyone or anything. i need to stop thinking. i need to just live life, instead of always anaylzing everything. that is what i do though. i anaylze. i understand why people fucked up. why they messed up a relationship; why they can't talk to other people; why they enjoy, seemingly, to be shit on. i am that person, but i don't understand it. i never will. this is futile. i am done. for now.  ¶ 11:32 PM 0 comments

  The best commercial ever. The one on MTV when the kid is riding around on his bike in New York City (I assume) and is looking everywhere for change. He looks in the couch cusions, pay phone change things, and such. Then they show the little guy going coming out of a pawn shop with a sampler. The final scene shows the kid messing with the sampler/drum machine thingy and the word "LOVE" shows on the screen. I love that one.  ¶ 5:37 PM 0 comments

  The only thing that makes sense is Jay-Z's "Ignorant Shit." People do not want to change. Myself included. People love the ignorant shit. They love weed, ice, chicks, click claks, and hearing about these things. I listen to rap music. I miss a lot, but I understand this song. People die, girls "duck sick," weed gets smoked, and people get money. Everyone loves these topics. It keeps our minds off the real shit they should be thinking about. We need these things to distract us from ourselves. We are taught that being a loner is bad. You have problems if you can't talk to other people. We are crazy if we enjoy our own company and don't "wil' out." Fuck that noise. If I don't want to talk to you, I won't waste my time or yours. If I do want to talk to you, I will give you my all. I will not hide anything from you that I feel you should know. I will be as loyal to you as you are to me. If you don't want to talk to me, don't pretend to like me; I don't care what you do with your life. I don't mean that in a bad way, it just does not effect my life. There are plenty of people that will love the fact you bang chicks, smoke the best hydroponic, and eat shit. I care about you. I promise. Sincerely. I care about you enough to let you make your own mistakes. I will let you learn from your own mistakes instead of looking at other peoples'. I am not special. I am logical. I feel very egotistical right now, but so be it. Good Charolette said it best, "I just wanna live." Whatevs, man.  ¶ 5:05 PM 0 comments

  Suicide? Hunter S. Thompson? I can't believe it. I need to know more. I am no expert on H.S. Thompson. I have only read Kingdom of Fear. I have read some articles on him. I watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas with Johnny Deep. I feel like Thompson was one of the last true people in this world. Committing suicide? That does not seem like something he would do, but people have stress. I am shocked, saddened and, honestly, laughing a little, because he is Hunter S. Thompson and he lived how he wanted to. "It's a mad mad world." R.I.P. Hunter S. Thompson  ¶ 11:38 PM 0 comments

  I got a buzz in the hood now. People fear me...for no reason. I lick shots. Pop glocks. Flick snots. You get the idea. I'm raw, dunny. I'm livin that life. I like being alone, but I get the best feeling when I get a gmail from a fellow blogger or one of my good friends. I am excited right now. I know I can't depend on other people for my happiness, but I am feelin' it right now. Bloggers keep bloggin'. Ladies keep lovin'. LL keep lickin'. No homo. No homo has to be one of the funniest phases that has even be spit. (Speakin' of homo, anyone heard that "Drop A Couple Pounds" by Juelz S.A.N.T.A.N.A.? Listen to it and think "Juelz, Drop A Couple Rhymes." Spine.) I can't believe people are that insecure/secure. It is hilarioid because it is so casual that you can't tell if people hate faggots or they like making people feel uber unconfortable. Fantastic. I did twenty minutes of stretching this morning and realized i am in fat shape. Politicin' and shit.  ¶ 12:41 PM 0 comments

  back pain, back pain
ya'll iggas know my game
messin up ya lunbar
and fuckin up ya frame
they call me back pain
and ain't a damn thing change  ¶ 1:12 AM 0 comments

  Q: What are we doing with our lives?

A: Whatever we want to.

(I just took a shower and realized the answer.)  ¶ 3:07 PM 0 comments

  "I am a very very complex person." -The Pretenders "Complex Person"
What are we doing with our lives? Honestly. I am reading these blogs and I love them. That scares me. I love hearing/reading what is going on in other people's lives, but I don't have one of my own. I am not out drinking, smoking, snorting, fucking, killing it, or anything of that nature. I am at a bookstore reading magazines. I am at home listening to music that only matters to me. I am thinking about how awesome it would be to live in California (or Arizona or Chicago or NY or Hawaii) and just surf, skate, read, and sleep my days away. I don't go to parties cause as Biggie said "party and bullshit." He meant it another way than I am taking it. I don't care if I meet a bunch of people who think they have to go to parties to be social. I am also stuck because I really don't have another solution to meeting people. I have gone to the same two bookstores for the past 5 years and I have talked to numerous people, but I have never got anyone's phone number or giving mine, so we can chill outside of my own personal boundaries. I am a loner. I know this. People piss me off a lot. I just get sick of the same shit, yet I do the same thing by not leaving my own world. I read Jessica's post from a party she went to in NY (I'm assuming). She talks about how boring and sad the party was. And how the people are the same. I would ask her why she went in the first place? I assume, she knew what to expect. Did she feel obligated because of her friends? Was she just bored out of her mind anyway? I think it is sad that she went. She did not have to go (I know she knows this). I do not do things anymore if I don't feel like it. There is NO POINT in being miserable at some place you did not want to be in the first place. If people think I am a jackass or self-obsessed or unsocial...so be it. I don't want to waste my time or theirs. I would love to meet cool people. I have been trying to write in people's comment sections and e-mailing (thanks for responding kris and Jessica) some people. Trying to talk to some people who have similar interests as me (or what I at least perceive as similar interests). I have the feeling that I would really like hanging out with some of the bloggers I have read about, but I am too scared to find out. I would rather just believe we would be friends than actually meet them and have them be disappointed. This is a long a rambling post. I have to work.  ¶ 2:45 PM 0 comments